Bills

I want to say first off, I pay all my bills on time and I have excellent credit. If anything I might pay a day or two late, once in a while if I’m out of town. I know the economy is in crisis and everyone is defaulting but have I lost my mind. Since when does a bill collector, personally call you at work when your check is 2 days late. Bank of America must just be trying to piss us all off. No wait!!!! it just came to me, I think that the bill collector is scared of being laid off, so he’s looking for busy work. He might keep his job if he looks busy. Maybe I’ll send my check a few days late from now on so they can stay busy. Just in case I’m wrong, I’ll put in a little note in my next bill outlining some great ideas on how to look busy.

#1 Always walk very fast to any place you go, it makes you look extra busy and stressed. I know this because I walk very fast at work and everyone is always asking me if there’s anything they can help me with.

#2 Don’t ever laugh out loud at work. It attracts miserable people, they’re on this world to stop all forms of fun. Laughter is the first tip off someone is enjoying themselves.

#3 Never make eye contact with anyone in authority. They’ll either give you something horrible to do or they’ll notice you and in this economy that just leads to bad things.

#4 If you screw up and make eye contact alway ask a question that makes it sound like the task your doing is really horrible. Here’s an example: Your walking by, you make eye contact with the boss, you instantly ask, “whats the number for maintenance theres a toilet over flowing and I’ve got to get them here fast”.

#5 This tip seems to be over used but effective. Go in to work very sick and touch everyone and everything. You’ll spread germs and by the time your feeling great everyone else is to sick to notice you sitting around doing nothing.

I really hope this helps those poor idiots that called from Bank of America. They should be grateful they called Bruce at work and not me. I have a tendency to use sarcasm at inappropriate moments. Who knows what they’d be repossesing by the time I got off the phone. On the other hand, go ahead let them call me, it’ll just make me look busy at work and we both win.

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1 Comment

  1. annie said,

    December 11, 2008 at 8:40 pm

    Bank of America must be having some serious problems right now. I noticed this week that another blogger I read has been fighting with them; they have threatened to repossess this lady’s farm if they didn’t pay the rest of what they owed by the end of this month. They would have paid it off in about 3 month anyway but BOA decided they wanted it now.


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