Death Row

The roosters are out of control, I have 5 yup……. 5. There are evil forces at work in the yard, I’ve seen them huddled together whispering. I’m pretty tolerant of their evil ways but they are plotting against me and banding together. The leader is Damian, number 1 on death row. He’s a bulky Houdan rooster with extra toes and red horns. I’ve watched him confidently strutting around the yard, his head thrown back like he was a prince. He challenges us all, Justin has even hit him with a stick, knocked him unconscious and he still has no fear. I didn’t mind the sudden surprise attacks, lets face it he’s only 1 foot tall and has no teeth.

That was back in the winter when my legs were well protected with pants. Now it’s shorts weather and I mind. The second on the death row list is Stumpy, he was recently attacked by a stray dog. The dog took out a hen and a rooster but some how Stumpy managed to escape. I found his feathers all over the woods and I was sure he was done for. Later that day he surprised me by showing up, battered, missing tail feathers, and with a few puncture holes. At the time of his attack he was head boss of the yard. He told the other roosters what to do, he was the man. After he came back the others looked at him with suspicion. Why should they follow a limping, featherless leader? Why did he let the others die? What kind of protector of the flock was this Stumpy? They chased him away, they wouldn’t let him come within eye sight, it was the strangest thing to see. Ruthless chickens, if they saw him even 30 feet in the distance I’d hear a strange cry from the roosters and then the chase was on. All 4 would run after him chasing him around the house thru the yard around the coop, up the field, till they cornered him and he was left a quivering mess. I wanted to help, but then again, I need a few less roosters so I let nature do its thing. Lucky me, he slowly got back into their good graces and he has worked his way back up even allowed to sleep in the coop. Now he is the number 2 man. The number 3 man is Einstein. He is beautiful, but with a dark side. He watches me, respects me when I’m close. Sometimes and I’m not sure if he isn’t being told to do this, but he waits till I have my back turned and I’m at least 30 feet away, then he rush up behind me for the attack. He only attacks from behind and now I’m just a bit paranoid. The last rooster on death row is Goofy he has never attacked anyone he’s on the row thru association. I have to many and well someone has to go, he may still get a pardon.

Damian (charged with leading a revolt)

Stumpy ( deposed leader, chronic neck fluffer)

Einstein ( Back stabbing weasel )

Goofy ( scapegoat)

Some of the death row inmates may receive a pardon if they can show respect for the hand that feeds them. I am doubtful inmate 666 can change his ways. He has a date with my freezer next weekend. The others can appeal their sentence to the members of the family but I’m not sure there’s much sympathy in that crowd. They have all been victims to this group.

The date of execution is set for this coming weekend rain or shine.

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